Past revealed.
Assalamualaikum ya ukhwat wa akhwat.
Looking at the picture above, its difficult to believe that Im actually hurting so much inside. People wonder why Im so cheerful. I honestly am just happy to be given another day to repent and ask forgiveness for my sins from Ya Rabb.
I flipped through my pictures in a folder I kept in my laptop, and I am astounded at how much Ive changed. I used to be so lost, so insecure and unsure of myself, to the extend that I thought a girl who wore the hijab probably gets frowned upon as compared to one who doesnt.
Yes, I too adorned the hijab back then, but instead of making me feel precious, safe and secure, it did otherwise. I cared more about what the opposite gender thought of me, I was worried that they might never love me, and at a very young age at that subhanallah. I cared about how other girls looked at me, I didnt want to be judged based on what I wore. Looking back, I realise how foolish I was, how low my faith was. And I feel so ashamed.
Some of you may ask
"Are you not ashamed that people read about this side of your past?"
I honestly am not ashamed, because the story of my past might open up another sister's heart to wanting to adorn the hijab, wallahi. And if my story does have that effect, Alhamdulillah.
Thankyou to these two girls, first and foremost.
Anis taught me that the hijab doesnt have to turn a person dull. She stays modest at the same time fashionable in terms of her clothes and the way she wears her hijab. She taught me never to feel ashamed adorning the hijab by seeming so confident. May Allah bless her.
Syeera taught me that you dont have to wear tight fitting, body hugging clothes to capture attention. She taught me that you could look sweet, elegant and cute even by wearing lose shirts, and chest covering hijabs. And she made me realise that by wearing such clothes, I would attract the right attention. May Allah bless her
Both taught me you could be modest and stunning at the same time.
MasyaAllah.
May Allah guide the other sisters in Islam, as well as other sisters, as to how he guided me
Amiin Ya Rabb.
Till next time,
Assalamualaikum, D ♥
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